Presence and future yourself

Tempus hic: My life has been an adventure, lately. And, like Michel of L’Immoraliste, it’s an artwork all my own, aligned with my “duty to be happy.” Who knew happiness could look like this, though?

I used to practice this thing I invented called a Locus nunc (Latin for “place now”), which was where I looked around me and took the pen to my journal to get present to and vividly describe just my physical surroundings with an eye towards a mix of marvel and appreciation. And now I’m creating a tempus hic, “a time here,” where I get present to the canvas of my life in broad strokes, with just the same eye towards the same mix of marvel and appreciation…

From the discovery of a mysteriously boundless energy born of only a very brief bout of sleep (1.5-hours exactly) two nights ago, in the midst of an ongoing opus to maximally optimize my sleep, and more, to maximize the rest I get therefrom…

to receiving the exquisite power and beauty of three highly-trained coaches from different modalities choosing to focus their attention on me, like beams of laser light helping Michelangelo hew himself from the stone…

to allowing myself to feel how working 10-11 hours a day during the week – the 7-4 shifts at CAS, then thrilling in Apokalupsis for however many hours (nearly 3.5 tonight) in the evening – has had me living at my edge without even realizing it…

all of it engages me in what Kevin Trudeau calls “happiness” – “the progressive realization of a worthwhile ideal” – as much as it builds towards my life of freedom aflame, my ten-hour workweek, a future I taste here in the present…

A future where I’ll keep thrilling in the present, in some new wrinkle in the fold of the rich tapestry of the colors at sunset – it was the graceful jagged edge of red, this evening – or the manifold corpus of Star Trek – yesterday, it was seeing Lwaxana Troi on The Next Generation (“Half a Life”), no longer frenetic or offensive, finally fulfilled in finding a formidable man who she could finally offer her love and desire and hunger to fully…

If you have a full and rich grasp on the present, you don’t really need a future. All desire takes us out of here and now, where everything we think we want will eventually be located anyway…but to sacrifice the present for the sake of any future is criminal. So the recipe is: step one, be present first

However, to quote Scott Hahn: “God loves you just the way you are…and He loves you too much to let you stay that way.” Meaning something in the future, something pulling us forward, helps to maximally fulfill the goal-directed machines we are. If we’re not being given by a possibility in the future, the momentum of our identity will return us to some past-based pattern that misaligns us from the present.  So step two: create a future in the present, one that you can enjoy now.

Create for yourself a future worth living into, worth acting towards, and find the joy of building something…within the freedom and emptiness of a space where nothing actually must be built. The future as a variety OF the present, another present that hasn’t happened yet, but can be made present now just as bountifully as the present present can be. The present and the future are two blisses, the two wings of the great eagle from Apokalypse Chapter 12…

Meditation grants us this access: it gives you both the opportunity to get fully present to the beauty and joy HERE and NOW…and also the chance to clear away the dense thicket of haphazard thoughts and fog of scattered focus that keep you from being passionately pulled forward into a future you powerfully create.

 

Recipe for bliss #9:

Presence yourself. Then future yourself. Fractionate between the two in the same way that you can shift your attention from the sweetness of the raw avocado honey…to the slightly bitter taste of the chard it’s glazed upon. 

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