If You Choose an Awakened Woman~

I absolutely love this.

Sacred Dreams

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IF YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE AN AWAKENED WOMAN~~

If you choose to love an awakened woman, understand that you are entering into new, radical and challenging territory.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, you cannot stay asleep.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, every part of your Soul will be aroused, not just your sexual organs or even your heart.

Frankly, if you prefer a normal life, stick with a normal girl.

If you want a tame life, seek only a woman who has allowed herself to be tamed.

If you only want to dip your toe into the flowing waters of Shakti, stay with the safe, tamed woman who has not yet plunged into the wildness of the Sacred Feminine ocean.

It is comfortable to love a woman who has not yet activated her inner sacred powers, because she does not push your buttons.

She…

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Star Trek

The new Discovery trailer dropped last weekend and I can’t seem to stop watching it. I love and adore it.

Why do I orbit this so much that it never leaves me, daily? So much that I have a podcast called Clever Orbits to document and share these?

Because it taps into something deep and strong in me. That part of me that wants to make a difference, to see it made, to share it.

an apocalypse of insomnia

My first visit to Enchanted Rock! It was appropriately healing – in only the most challenging possible way. I went out there with trust in the idea that being closer to Nature would be, finally, THE effective strategy to vanquish the insomnia I’ve dealt with for the past 11 months or so. That I could simply be out there and reset everything and wake up refreshed.
 
It wasn’t so. The insomnia overpowered me. My choice, after the initial rage against the powerlessness I felt – the same one that has been there since I witnessed my father beat the crap out of my mother when I was younger and couldn’t stop him, very close to infancy, which I finally began to touch and stay with, here – was to surrender to my body in those moments and create something else instead.
 
When I couldn’t sleep – powered by the raw fruit fast I was on – I hiked in the dead of night to the rock itself, finding instead a faith in MY own ability to achieve WHATEVER I believe I can achieve. And it WAS faith. Faith that I was taking the right path, faith that it would turn out, faith that the food and water I could fit in my shorts would sustain such a trip, faith that I was safe (traveling alone in darkness with a useless and dead phone) from any and all potentially dangerous animals or slips and falls…faith in the intuitive ability of my body to sense the subtleties of terrain I’d never encountered before and to manage it gracefully…and finally, I was hurting after one hour of hiking…but six? Faith that I wouldn’t just collapse.
 
I transform my doubt and fear into faith, and I do this with ACTION. I KNOW myself as the FEARLESS Cause in the Matter of my life from what I HAVE achieved. I honor my word and make things happen that weren’t going to happen anyway regardless of how many splinters, cuts, and blisters it takes to achieve them. I love myself enough to confront the powerlessness, the terror, and the burning desire by taking massive action to inscribe on my neurons who I REALLY am, what I’m REALLY capable of.
 
I didn’t get what I wanted. I got what I needed. And I am grateful.
 
Talk about embodying Austin Life Empowered, WOW!

integrity

Integrity isn’t about always keeping your word.

It’s about honoring yourself by maintaining a certain relationship to your word: acknowledging when you’ve kept it, and when you haven’t.

And, I might add, recommitting. Trying again and again.

Not judging yourself when you don’t.

And having a word worth keeping.

 

a life optimizing – carpe temporem

July 4th lights and sound explode outside my window. However, I choose the meaning of my holidays. This one has been largely for silent contemplation and writing.

We have the most control over exercising creative and self-generated intentions when we are not in direct contact with others.

Right before bed and right after awakening are treasured times for me. I leave my phone off (I do understand that I’ve become one of those few I know who even turn their phone off at all…who can go for periods of time without the constant communication, validation, and stimulation that comes from being plugged into the Matrix that the mindless text-reaction/Interneting-complex can sometimes be for people…usually I turn my phone off when going to begin my sleep routine, and then on airplane while I’m working at CAS) and do things like cleaning my house (which I did this morning with aplomb), meditation, writing and study…I’ve got complete control over where I place my attention, I’m usually the highest-energy and clearest, and there’s this incredible joy in the solitude. A slowness and a gentleness. It’s revitalizing and it always leaves me eager, open, and willing to connect more generously and more intensely when I return to the world of people. Indeed, it fits with Tim Ferris’s suggestion to check your email twice a day that I “batch out” my texts to whenever I turn my phone back on…there’s something fun about getting a flood of texts at once, and also some minimizing of the impact of the sudden novelty and distraction of texts streaming in individually throughout the day, when you do this.

Realize that your plunge into the sea of influenced, chaotic, colorful beauty that is the massive throng of humanity ever more Borgified by their melding with technology, ever more unconscious by their un-reflective march into the stream of up-to-the-minute content and activity is something you can choose to consent to and activate – or turn off – at will.

I’m reminded of Crowley: “The majority of the people in this world are ataxic; they cannot coordinate their mental muscles to make a purposed movement. They have no real will, only a set of wishes, many of which contradict others. The victim wobbles from one to the other (and it is no less wobbling because the movements may occasionally be very violent) and at the end of life the movements cancel each other out. Nothing has been achieved; except the one thing of which the victim is not conscious: the destruction of his own character, the confirming of indecision” (Book Four, Part Two, The Wand). How little he knew that the strings of the marionette, in the wobbling, would eventually be pulled by technology.

(Yes, I’m on a computer. But the insistence of it is different. It sits here, notifications turned as off as those on my phone when it is active, idly waiting like the tool for expression and intention that it should be).

Meanwhile, seize the time, carpe temporem.

Recipe for productivity #4: Turn your phone off and enforce the creation of time for yourself. 

What coach does / sexual energy flow / Apokalupsis name origin

Every time I overcome inertia and work to read something new and to do a practice or to notice when I’m in a state that doesn’t work and shift it, or to discover some piece that needs healing and actually embrace working on healing that thing, I am growing as a coach. I am moving not just forward, but higher up vibrationally!
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How should sexual energy flow?
I know that when I withhold semen I’m clearer, more motivated. More polarized and turned on by new women, more likely to plug into them energetically and connect…as Steve Mayeda said once, the social and sexual drives might be identical. We might socialize primarily in order to fuck, or (I add) we might enjoy the polarization that draws us to connect and enjoy and experience her FOR ITSELF, similar to what Deida recommends in The Way Of The Superior Man.
Our culture, meanwhile, trains us men to squander and release and lose sexual energy, chasing new women, not knowing that this chi is meant to circulate through our whole body and motivate us and deepen connection and intimacy. The disempowering (and energy-draining, and anti-feminist) propaganda that pornography is…trains us to want to ejaculate above all, reaching into our primal makeup and activating a certain aggressive circuitry of territoriality. Like she’s land or something and claiming her happens with us leaving our semen on her. Sure, there’s also the wish NOT to produce a baby, but that can be done with control over your sexual energy through cobra breath or the million dollar point or other tantric techniques.
Use your sexual energy wisely.
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Why Apokalupsis Coaching? BECAUSE it sounds high falutin, academic, esoteric, and foreign. It taps into a root desire of mine – to unveil the world, to make sense of it and to understand it through intellectual striving and study and integration!

However, that may change.