Those at EAN I will recall my workshop on the power of self-acknowledgment. There’s a twist on that for me in Austin.
This city occurs for me as a landscape of empowering landmarks (pun intended), when I choose to get present to it and explore it in my mind’s eye, when I drop into the frame of “what mark HAVE I MADE on this life and this world?”
Psychogeography becomes grimoire, and a journal written in places morphs into a vibrant breath of life just waiting to creep into my lungs and remind me of what I’ve done, who I am, and what I’m capable of.
My friend Frank did this on a call around 1:30am: “Don’t ‘look for parking.’ You’re magical, man. Just manifest a parking spot close by to where you want to be.” With the reminder, I did exactly that.
This city itself stands defiant in the face of my every disempowering thought or pattern, a similar reminder to his rejoinder. Just being here is a testament to an ongoing victory, and everywhere I look, I’m reminded of that power.
Making it on my own – I see this in the five separate places I’ve lived throughout the city (Enfield Ave, Emerald Forest, Hycreek, Manchaca, and Stassney), climaxing in my present one bedroom apartment.
Connections and adventures abound, things that weren’t going to happen anyway, things that required my choice and action and persistence: West Norris, Swallow Drive, Forest Wood…
Eight ALE/EAN events – found in echoes at 1310 S 1st Street, Casa de Luz, Guan Yin Tea House, Soma Vida, and that lovely home just off of Riverside.
BrainJuice still abounds at all five of the Whole Foods stores and so many others. Certain signage stands proud outside and inside of prominent Austin businesses.
Heck, even the car that drives me on the tour that shows me all this is a victory.
Finally, I look around my home through blue-blocking glasses at a sanctuary of supplements and practices built to vanquish the epic insomnia that plagued me last year…I lay my head down to rest, knowing that I can handle whatever is coming, and sleep in light.
And if I can do it, so can you. ALL OF IT. Whatever you want.
Recipe for bliss: turn your environment into a testament to your own ability to overcome, littered with reminders of victories. Then, your new listening of yourself can’t HELP but seep in and crowd out whatever negativity might still crop up. Bathe in the bliss of your wins.
My mission crystallizes yet again from another angle: to take actions, share stories, and communicate in a way that inspires, uplifts, and empowers.
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. The evidence is found in the moments of novelty, the creations that bubble up effortlessly.
Where there was a fire of creativity, now there are eight long bits of poetry.
Where there was an injustice, my cleverness and gently calibrated force warded off bullies who threatened us on the dance floor.
Where there was dissipation and constant frenzied fractionation between the past and the future, all of me has dropped into the present with appreciation and gratitude.
I’m learning more what I already know –
now and here is where to go.
Follow your feelings,
into the flow.
What a night!
There’s a moment when I open up, in solitude. When I’m freed. When enough distance and time from society and others and habits and routines and schedules is achieved that my Self is liberated unto a certain kind of unique joy.
True solitude, I have found, is a delectable solipsism that must be attained only after great effort.
I’m sure others have found it in Nature. Thoreau, probably. Where the mind, with a novel depth, curves in upon itself and begins to appreciate both the world at large as well as it’s own activity…reflection surmounts slavish reaction, expression advances above utility, and the speaking function, the word production, becomes free to dance amidst the many collected vicissitudes of curve and association hidden in the interstices of the mind. (As here!)
Amidst this golden freedom, I’ve found only one diamond tonight:
Solitude itself is necessary for flourishing, in certain souls. Not every, and not always, but definitely for some. It must be nourished, watered, cultivated, and grasped like a rainstorm that visits only fleetingly but which feeds the succulents that hunger silently throughout the year for their rare waterings.
Recipe for bliss: recover aloneness, and rediscover the joys there.
I still watch TV. It’s something that I go back and forth on. I don’t even have a TV in my house; I use my laptop.
The potentially negative neurological and social impacts, but also how it fits into my flow and makes me feel, how it engages my mind and makes me curious and analytical…all of these feed into the ongoing maybe-yes-maybe-no of it.
Star Trek has been my primary fare for several years now, with the commitment to watch every episode or movie in the in-fictional-universe order.
So why do I still watch? And why specifically this one show?
There’s always a moment of compassion, when the care, concern, friendship, or straight up love of one of the characters for another is on full and resonant display…when my heart creeps open and I can feel them. Whether it’s Spock excited to see the best friend Kirk he thought had died, or Odo inviting Garak to breakfast even though he doesn’t eat, there’s always a moment when the tears well up in my eyes.
These moments re-presence me to my mission here on this planet: to love others through their suffering into their full power and expression.
In this, it is as powerful as soul gazing. And any practice which opens your heart, to any degree, is definitely worth continuing.