I’m teaching Philosophy again. The level of creativity, integration, and reverence with which I find myself conducting the activity of creating the curriculum is something I’ve never expressed before. There’s a commitment to doing it fully, doing it as well as possible…that matches the best of my workshops in EAN, at the very least.
And for the first time in a few years, I’ve allowed myself to start thinking for myself fully again. Truly, this world isn’t necessarily what I think it is. I’m not necessarily who I’ve thought myself to be.
I might be wrong. I might be wrong about everything. And it isn’t that “doubt is fear disguised,” to be tapped through or dismissed. Doubt is this key that opens a door into a realm of discovery and creation as much as learning and growth. It’s exhilarating. It’s refreshing. It’s enlivening.
Doubt is Crowley’s hunchback, ?, ready to pull the rug out from under me so that I can see the beauty and mystery of the floor beneath, the crook of the shepherd drawing me back into resonance with a wandering path through the enigmatic universe in all the glory of its novelty as an unknown.
To be an effective salesman, a business owner, a marketer, a coach…it seems you have to have a certain amount of certainty…and possibly even inerrant dogmatism. And it’s tiresome to have even some of The Answers.* It’s so nice to rest, like Apollo in the sea of stars, in an endless pool of possibility…
“O Nuit, continuous one of Heaven, let it be ever thus; that men speak not of Thee as One but as None; and let them speak not of thee at all, since thou art continuous!” (CCXX 1:27)
Recipe for Bliss # 3: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” So examine it!
*(Yes, it’s important to be Crowley’s Soldier as well, standing for meaning and purpose and accomplishment and freedom and creation in a world that can seem hostile and challenging…but there needs to be a balance between faith and reason, between certainty and doubt, between grasp of Truth and willingness to learn).