CEO, By Any Other Name, On Another Event’s Eve

The bridge of the Enterprise-D is empty, to be purged of a particular type of radiation by a certain energy sweep. Captain Picard is alone, taking a moment in the silence and solitude to gingerly and gently attend to the fine details of his ship, with a subtlety of appreciation and knowingness crossing his face.

As he strokes the wood of the section behind where he usually sits, you see this glimmer of pride in his eyes. He knows this place, this thing that maneuvers under his command, with a delicacy of taste that surpasses what anyone else can bring.

It’s an icon of the modern CEO. The CEO we might take as not just standing over and coordinating the employees and subordinates – indeed, he is bringing a certain unique and personal craftsmanship and artistry to the whole interlocking system of people and policies and plans and organization…the business as the most intricate modern artwork available to humanity. I used to think that title was held by film, but businesses themselves are close competitors in complexity and chaotics.

I find it’s time to bring this love of the tiny tittles, and the giant strokes…to my expression of ALE. Time to release how I’ve been showing up and instead show up as the space where everyone else shows up.

The line from my workshop repeats in my head: “I had a vision. And now, you’re sitting in it.”

Ironically, it’s not merely the auteur at play. It’s the profound listener, the space where everything else shows up…that I get to be, at an ALE event.

Alright, this is enough to dig myself out of the swamp. Time to get to work.

Recipe for Bliss #47: Your business is your artwork, your business is itself your gift to the world.

A side-note: if you’re dealing with overwhelm, just find a way to decompress by placing your attention elsewhere than on the problem(s) and issue(s). That’s what I did, and this article was the fun result.

into the unknown

Coaching, what a fascinating industry.

Transformation unleashes uncertainty as much as clarity. The spaces in the body, the spaces in the mind…that get unleashed and opened and explored…are as wild, free, new, and unmapped as those in the psychedelic experience (in fact, they are often the very same spaces).

Which leads to the issue. In these spaces of uncertainty where who you are in your very being gets unveiled and generated in a conversation, the function of the coach is vital. A sort of Beatrice to the unconscious or subconscious or superconscious, depending on who is speaking.

Each coach has, like Steve Jobs, either a Reality Distortion Field…or a Reality Articulation Field. The most effective model wins. Whether it is the Identity, the Shadow, the True Will, Orgasm, Shen…there are many different maps and overlays for the raw experiences seized upon by the individual in self-discovery.


And it behooves one entering this space, where another (the coach) gets to tell you who you are/what’s “Really” going on…to have a balance between self-assuredness on the one hand (knowing and carving out one’s limits, boundaries, uniqueness, and desires in the face of strong, expertise-equipped personalities)…and also a willingness to learn, which is the very reason you would approach a coach or mentor…because they have a way of being with reality or people…or a way of being in action on that reality (aka a skillset or a distinction set) which makes them have more of what you want than you currently do. Neil Strauss makes a good attempt to articulate the potential pitfalls in the self-healing process in his appendices to The Truth, for example.

In other words, put simply, to quote the Oracle from The Matrix Revolutions: “Make up your own damn mind.”

If You Choose an Awakened Woman~

I absolutely love this.

Sacred Dreams



If you choose to love an awakened woman, understand that you are entering into new, radical and challenging territory.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, you cannot stay asleep.

If you choose to love an awakened woman, every part of your Soul will be aroused, not just your sexual organs or even your heart.

Frankly, if you prefer a normal life, stick with a normal girl.

If you want a tame life, seek only a woman who has allowed herself to be tamed.

If you only want to dip your toe into the flowing waters of Shakti, stay with the safe, tamed woman who has not yet plunged into the wildness of the Sacred Feminine ocean.

It is comfortable to love a woman who has not yet activated her inner sacred powers, because she does not push your buttons.


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Star Trek

The new Discovery trailer dropped last weekend and I can’t seem to stop watching it. I love and adore it.

Why do I orbit this so much that it never leaves me, daily? So much that I have a podcast called Clever Orbits to document and share these?

Because it taps into something deep and strong in me. That part of me that wants to make a difference, to see it made, to share it.

an apocalypse of insomnia

My first visit to Enchanted Rock! It was appropriately healing – in only the most challenging possible way. I went out there with trust in the idea that being closer to Nature would be, finally, THE effective strategy to vanquish the insomnia I’ve dealt with for the past 11 months or so. That I could simply be out there and reset everything and wake up refreshed.
It wasn’t so. The insomnia overpowered me. My choice, after the initial rage against the powerlessness I felt – the same one that has been there since I witnessed my father beat the crap out of my mother when I was younger and couldn’t stop him, very close to infancy, which I finally began to touch and stay with, here – was to surrender to my body in those moments and create something else instead.
When I couldn’t sleep – powered by the raw fruit fast I was on – I hiked in the dead of night to the rock itself, finding instead a faith in MY own ability to achieve WHATEVER I believe I can achieve. And it WAS faith. Faith that I was taking the right path, faith that it would turn out, faith that the food and water I could fit in my shorts would sustain such a trip, faith that I was safe (traveling alone in darkness with a useless and dead phone) from any and all potentially dangerous animals or slips and falls…faith in the intuitive ability of my body to sense the subtleties of terrain I’d never encountered before and to manage it gracefully…and finally, I was hurting after one hour of hiking…but six? Faith that I wouldn’t just collapse.
I transform my doubt and fear into faith, and I do this with ACTION. I KNOW myself as the FEARLESS Cause in the Matter of my life from what I HAVE achieved. I honor my word and make things happen that weren’t going to happen anyway regardless of how many splinters, cuts, and blisters it takes to achieve them. I love myself enough to confront the powerlessness, the terror, and the burning desire by taking massive action to inscribe on my neurons who I REALLY am, what I’m REALLY capable of.
I didn’t get what I wanted. I got what I needed. And I am grateful.
Talk about embodying Austin Life Empowered, WOW!


Integrity isn’t about always keeping your word.

It’s about honoring yourself by maintaining a certain relationship to your word: acknowledging when you’ve kept it, and when you haven’t.

And, I might add, recommitting. Trying again and again.

Not judging yourself when you don’t.

And having a word worth keeping.


a life optimizing – carpe temporem

July 4th lights and sound explode outside my window. However, I choose the meaning of my holidays. This one has been largely for silent contemplation and writing.

We have the most control over exercising creative and self-generated intentions when we are not in direct contact with others.

Right before bed and right after awakening are treasured times for me. I leave my phone off (I do understand that I’ve become one of those few I know who even turn their phone off at all…who can go for periods of time without the constant communication, validation, and stimulation that comes from being plugged into the Matrix that the mindless text-reaction/Interneting-complex can sometimes be for people…usually I turn my phone off when going to begin my sleep routine, and then on airplane while I’m working at CAS) and do things like cleaning my house (which I did this morning with aplomb), meditation, writing and study…I’ve got complete control over where I place my attention, I’m usually the highest-energy and clearest, and there’s this incredible joy in the solitude. A slowness and a gentleness. It’s revitalizing and it always leaves me eager, open, and willing to connect more generously and more intensely when I return to the world of people. Indeed, it fits with Tim Ferris’s suggestion to check your email twice a day that I “batch out” my texts to whenever I turn my phone back on…there’s something fun about getting a flood of texts at once, and also some minimizing of the impact of the sudden novelty and distraction of texts streaming in individually throughout the day, when you do this.

Realize that your plunge into the sea of influenced, chaotic, colorful beauty that is the massive throng of humanity ever more Borgified by their melding with technology, ever more unconscious by their un-reflective march into the stream of up-to-the-minute content and activity is something you can choose to consent to and activate – or turn off – at will.

I’m reminded of Crowley: “The majority of the people in this world are ataxic; they cannot coordinate their mental muscles to make a purposed movement. They have no real will, only a set of wishes, many of which contradict others. The victim wobbles from one to the other (and it is no less wobbling because the movements may occasionally be very violent) and at the end of life the movements cancel each other out. Nothing has been achieved; except the one thing of which the victim is not conscious: the destruction of his own character, the confirming of indecision” (Book Four, Part Two, The Wand). How little he knew that the strings of the marionette, in the wobbling, would eventually be pulled by technology.

(Yes, I’m on a computer. But the insistence of it is different. It sits here, notifications turned as off as those on my phone when it is active, idly waiting like the tool for expression and intention that it should be).

Meanwhile, seize the time, carpe temporem.

Recipe for productivity #4: Turn your phone off and enforce the creation of time for yourself. 

What coach does / sexual energy flow / Apokalupsis name origin

Every time I overcome inertia and work to read something new and to do a practice or to notice when I’m in a state that doesn’t work and shift it, or to discover some piece that needs healing and actually embrace working on healing that thing, I am growing as a coach. I am moving not just forward, but higher up vibrationally!
How should sexual energy flow?
I know that when I withhold semen I’m clearer, more motivated. More polarized and turned on by new women, more likely to plug into them energetically and connect…as Steve Mayeda said once, the social and sexual drives might be identical. We might socialize primarily in order to fuck, or (I add) we might enjoy the polarization that draws us to connect and enjoy and experience her FOR ITSELF, similar to what Deida recommends in The Way Of The Superior Man.
Our culture, meanwhile, trains us men to squander and release and lose sexual energy, chasing new women, not knowing that this chi is meant to circulate through our whole body and motivate us and deepen connection and intimacy. The disempowering (and energy-draining, and anti-feminist) propaganda that pornography is…trains us to want to ejaculate above all, reaching into our primal makeup and activating a certain aggressive circuitry of territoriality. Like she’s land or something and claiming her happens with us leaving our semen on her. Sure, there’s also the wish NOT to produce a baby, but that can be done with control over your sexual energy through cobra breath or the million dollar point or other tantric techniques.
Use your sexual energy wisely.

Why Apokalupsis Coaching? BECAUSE it sounds high falutin, academic, esoteric, and foreign. It taps into a root desire of mine – to unveil the world, to make sense of it and to understand it through intellectual striving and study and integration!

However, that may change.

ST: DTI – Shield of the Gods – Compassionate love

How to convey how mystified and misty eyed I am at words on a page creating characters and experiences who nourish and move my heart?

What a wonder, fiction. What a wonder, words. We are able to create imaginary experiences that create and activate real emotions. Plato saw this as a problem, wanting to banish all the poets from society for its safety. Meanwhile, I spend my Sunday afternoon relishing in one of my favorite ST authors’ creations.

The Star Trek: Department of Temporal Investigations – Shield of the Gods eBook came out last week. I’ve been reading it a little per day, trying to savor it, and it came to a climax today. I had been wanting something more creative, some temporal gimmick, some plot twisting hook or nuanced intricacy of landmarks from the ST canon tied together in some clever way (as Bennett is wont to do, see Watching The ClockForgotten History, or even The Collectors). But, as with another beloved of mine in this moment, sometimes what you expect simply disappears and goes silent.

Luckily, in this case, something better arose. It’s almost a passing-the-torch novel, as Ranjea and Teresa Garcia (the two junior agents who came to partner up in the first novel) are showcased perhaps more than Lucsly and Dulmur (who basically ARE the DTI as established in original canon). But then (SPOILER ALERT) Ranjea gets abducted and sent to the past, and chooses, in perfect alignment with the depths of compassion in his character, to stay there in order to help love, rehabilitate, and heal the deep emotional wounds of the villain. Leave it to Star Trek well-written to give an illustration of  compassionate healing for one’s antagonist rather than elimination (discounting, for the moment, the extremely simplistic action-film trope format that doesn’t do anything like this with General Chang, the Duras sisters, the Borg Queen, Ru’afo, Shinzon, Nero, and Krall…with the notable cryogenic re-freeze of Khan).

I wept as Ranjea spoke his goodbye message to Teresa. The book, I realized, doesn’t need a gimmick of plot…it’s theme and the characters, in a testament to those pillars of fiction that will stand for many centuries to come regardless of vicissitudes of genre and setting, are strong enough on their own. Brilliant enough. Beautiful enough.

Even though I predicted this ending – Ranjea sacrificing himself for love of another, in a very unique and long-suffering way – about two pages before it happened, it was the kind of thing that makes me want to do the same.

To listen, hold space, and step back rather than condemning when someone dishonors their word and leaves me with a violated expectation. To love them through their wounds and not stop when their blind action from those wounds hurts me.

After all, no pain is mine but that which I can heal. Or redeem in creative combination with art and the quest to empower others.

Recipe for bliss #80: Allow the gifts that are uniquely yours to arise in and redeem your experience, and then give them.